Three thousand strides south of Dumitry’s coastal outpost, a sole candle flickered in the cellar of a collapsed cottage, casting dancing shadows across stone brick walls black with age and abandonment. A repurposed fishing net split the underground chamber in two. On one side were icky, nasty faeries jamming their fingers into mesh holes and taunting their esteemed teacher with nonsensical shrieks and hisses.
On the other side was Precious. She inhaled a dusty and stale breath. Faeries were little more than pests, plaguing the world of man with beguiling whispers in the night, swindling them of their sanity and lives just to lay eggs on still-warm corpses. Dimitry had the nerve to ask if Precious could have them help with his army among other things. Something about naval mine positioning.
The answer was yes.
Through flawless and, frankly, genius effort, Precious would reform the yucky and become the savior of her kind and humanity. No longer would people swat her away on sight. They would revere her as the tamer of the unconquerable as they bowed at her feet, a lucky few getting the chance to kiss her golden toenails.
Precious stepped past the pile of leaves Loudmouth had left behind as feed and towards the dividing net. Her arms pressed to her hips as her steadfast gaze traversed the grimy faces of three dozen faeries. “Listen well, my uncultured brethren. Many call me Precious the great, but you may simply refer to me as Precious the enlightened. I have come to free you from the shackles of your ignorance. Though you are too verbally incompetent to thank me now, someday you will. You’re welcome.”
One faerie mockingly wiped her muddy butt against the net while three more gathered soot from a brick fireplace and tossed them at their benevolent teacher.
Precious shielded her face, yet black and gray particles caught in her nose and throat. She choked.
The faeries took to the air and hooted with glee.
Anger welled within Precious as she rubbed debris from her eyes, and though she yearned to lash back, Dimitry promised her clout in society if she succeeded. These idiots would only grow more motivated if she gave in to the mockery. She swallowed her discontent. “You dummies are lucky I know you’re too dumb to know what you’re doing wrong. I was like you once, thinking that terrifying a farmer’s child by yelling into their ear while they sleep is funny. But it’s not. It’s because of you that humans try to kill me without—“
A child so young that his black hair and lashes had not yet bloomed gold shoved fingers into the corners of his mouth and made farting noises with his tongue. Three more followed his lead to form a mocking chorus.
“Dum… my,” another sounded out. “Dum-my. Dummy! Dummy!”
“I’m not the dummy. You’re the dum—“
“Dummy!”
“Dummy, dummy!”
Under siege by a barrage of insults, Precious teetered back. Faeries rarely lived long enough to master a language. Most roamed the wilds, mimicking the cries of birds and beasts until their prey or another faerie tore off their wings and left them to die, while the few that ventured into a village mindlessly repeated the first phrase they heard, meeting their death at the hands of an enraged peasant or the Church before they could learn its meaning.
“Dummy!”
“Dummy!”
But these faeries quickly learned the meaning of dummy.
It stung.
Precious felt small. Outnumbered. Before she could regain her composure, the faeries sensed the chink in her emotions and swarmed in flight, purple and orange and striped violet wings buzzing against the net, wicked voices erupting into snickers and giggles and rip-roaring laughter as if to frighten a mob of wild horses into stampeding off a cliff.
“Dummy!”
Precious kicked a nearby pile of wilting willow leaves. “I have you trapped. I control the food. I can make all of you starve. Now stop it!”
“Dumb dumb dummy!”
“You’re dumb and stupid and ugly and dumb!”
“Dummy!”
“Duuuuummyyyyy!”
Thirty shrill voices repeatedly attacked Precious, each insulting digging deeper and striking harder. The sinking feeling in her belly became a bottomless bog. And then she could bear it no longer.
Precious drifted up to the sconce, extinguished the wick of the candle on top, and as ‘dummies’ continued to sound in the crushing dark, she left the cellar through a gap in the rubble.